The number of impressions has reached the number of my years, the number of my levels in this game of life. What have I learned so far? Sometimes it seems that I have improved myself, other times I am repeating the same mistakes I have made before and I show no sign of breaking free from them. There were laughs, and there were tears. Time and I do not really get along, because it took so much from me. If you are wondering, I do not have all the answers to all the questions I have asked. So, I dropped those questions. Continue reading
When he acquired all the items, Joss came to the cash register with the least people in front of it. Quite soon, he was next in line, right behind an older man whose goods were being scanned by the clerk at that moment. The elderly man put his wallet on the counter, and in his hand he was firmly holding bunch of coupons. As the clerk pulled through each of the items, the old man gave him discount coupons. Finally, there was just a bottle of juice and spaghetti left on the counter. The clerk checked the coupon for the bottle of juice. Then, he checked the spaghetti coupon and stopped. Continue reading
Last night, I had the worst of dreams. The one where you are back, and I am happy, truly, but we both have a sinister feeling that it is not the way it is supposed to be. You even told me that. You said that it was not right. And I try to enjoy the dream, but when I wake up and realize that you are in fact gone, I am again soaked in dark ink of grief.
Recently, I have been given a theatre piece to read it and comment on it. Just to get it out of the way, I did not like it. However, it got me thinking about it, but not really in the way that the author perhaps wanted me to. Did I dislike it as only a member of the audience, or I disliked it as a person who knows something about drama as a form of literature and something about literature in general? There are many examples of critics ridiculing a work that would later turn out to be a masterpiece. There are also many examples of the audience popularizing works without any aesthetic or artistic values. Then how can we know what is good and what is not? To have an opinion about someone’s work is a responsibility. Continue reading
There comes a portion of life when you simply wait. You are old and every day seems like a gift you did not need and the one you did not ask for. With each moment you are less alive and more dead, and everyone around can tell what is going on. They expect it as much as you do. How does it feel, to be in transition? It is a place between places, both and neither at the same time.
Another morning is on the horizon. What if I make a step and it turns out to be the wrong one? There is no fear and there is no responsibility in remaining on the side, without any involvement. But, that leads to missing out on so much. Soon, I become dependent on the decisions of others, and not my own. There are gaps between my desires, my actions and my doubts, and I see myself existing in those gaps, locked by the anxiety to move towards the proper path. Inaction is a half-life.